I've been here before. The two week wait. It's been a challenge to remain hopeful with the array of BFN that have come before. This month I used clomid- I had the prescription from my last clomid challenge test. They wrote it for a refill so I took advantage. It's all I've got since I lost the insurance coverage from the family egg donor debacle a couple months back.
It is funny how disorganized I've been. I took the meds per the directions- I mean, I am an old friend to clomid. This is probably the 12th time (or more) I've taken it for some reason or another. I know the signs- flushing, hot flashes...not the friendliest wife to be around. I did the deed, several times, but didn't really pay attention to the ovulation signs- just made sure it was enough to cover all the bases- just in case.
Now I have completely forgot what day it is. Is it day 20? Is it day 23? I am not sure what's happened. I haven't been going to the acupuncturist much lately (she helps me keep track because she asks me each week). I am usually so detail oriented. I suspect it's because it is easier this way than to be completely engaged and invested and then heartbroken again.
Who knows? If you always do what you always did, you always get what you always got. Maybe I'm on to something. No- I am not delusional. Just numb in this two week wait.
Coming Back from Beyond
8 years ago
7 comments:
In a way it is easier when you just block it out and forget where you are in the cycle. I've been finding myself doing that the last few times, and it's really weird. Numb's a good way to describe it.
Assume it is day 18? I hope you pull a rabbit out of this hat.
Oh, wouldn't that just be lovely - to be unsure, then surprised by positive test!!!
Thinking of you...
Wouldn't it be nice to not really know how long it's been, and then test just in case, and then it's positive?
It seems so crazy, but I guess that's how most people do this...
Numb can sometimes be a good place to stay for a while - especially since the last couple of months have been so rough. I hope you emerge from the numbness to a pleasant surprise.
Just checking in to see how you are doing. I hope all is well.
Just catching up on your blog and I am so sorry for the loss of your preciouos Sally Ann.
I so hope you get that BFP this cycle!
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