"Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."
- Helen Keller1880-1968, Blind and Deaf Educator

Monday, July 26, 2010

Happy birthday, Sally Ann

Two years ago today we said hello and goodbye to you. I miss you sweet baby. I will never forget you. You were my first born. I wish you were here with me. I still cry for you.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

A Needed Update

I can't believe how long it's been since I last posted. I'm surprised I have enough time to brush my teeth, frankly. I just wanted you all to know I am not completely gone, just trying to find my way in this amazing new journey for me.

The years of infertility and losing Sally Ann has given me a heightened appreciation for my little sweetie. I am completely present and engaged in the good, bad and ugly. No one can prepare you for the overwhelment of the first couple of months. I'm already sad of the growth I've been witness to. In a future post I want to write about how life is a series of weanings. This little being was once a speck within me- part of me. Then she became a separate being. As she gets bigger and older, she will pull away. Right now, I'll just enjoy all I can give to my daughter and try to be in the moment. It's hard to do but I need to do it or I will drive myself crazy.

Was the journey worth it? Taking a look at the pictures, you know the answer. While it doesn't take away the hurt from my loss, it does distract me.