"Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."
- Helen Keller1880-1968, Blind and Deaf Educator

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Yeah, but...

I am so excited now about what may actually come to pass in the next few weeks...my hormones are pulsing through my body. One moment I am happy as a clam, the next I am frantic and scared that something may go wrong...the following moment, I am hysterical over the loss of Sally Ann.

There is so much emotion brewing. I am a well spring of feelings right now. It is a most confusing time.

The happier I get about the little girl within me, the sadder I feel about baby number 1.

"Is this your first?" Will people quit asking me that freakin question?

I am feeling confused. I should be so happy...and I am. But I have so many more, unwanted emotions that accompany me on this journey. I suppose this is my life and I might as well get used to it.

Does anyone have words of wisdom?


Kami said...

My personal experience is that I relived past pregnancies and births with each new one. It seems to be part of the process - for better or worse.

I wish I had some wise words. I think it is sometimes a matter of just moving through it. Soon - after your post pregnancy hormones straighten out - you will be more happy than sad and so busy you won't have time to worry too much about it.

I still don't know how to answer the question "Is this your first?" or "how many kids do you have?". If I answer honestly it is like I am trying to be dramatic. If I lie, I feel like I am betraying the memory of our first.

Hang in there, you are almost there.

Anonymous said...


Summer said...

I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I remember feeling the exact same way at this point in the pregnancy.

Jericho said...

One day at a time--that's all. And of course its okay---you're a hormonal time-bomb! You're doing great---just keep putting one foot in front of the other and your head held high!