So close, I can hardly stand it

I'm trying to keep my head up and be positive- the retrieval is scheduled to be around August 10-11th and the transfer will be 3-5 days after that. I've scheduled my pre and post transfer acupuncture sessions, I have convinced my hubby we need to stay in a hotel close to the hospital the day before and the day of the transfer (I want everything to be easy and calm). I've gone to a Mikvah- for those that do not know, it is a ritual bath that "cleanses" a person so that she can begin anew (call me superstitious- I am throwing every dart I have and hopefully one will stick). I have consulted with 2 perinatologists, one hematologist and two RE. I am going to counseling, joined a group that is in my situation, and, yes, I am even praying. I am listening to my visualization CD's, using the law of attraction, remembering the importance of humor, exercising to be in better physical shape. I am taking my meds like a perfect patient- Lupron in the am and vivelle patches every other day. I am ready to begin the rest of the protocol. I think I have covered everything?

At this point, it is out of my hands. If I have learned one thing, it's that the whole pregnancy is a miracle and all I can do now is hope.

For those of you in the know, I am starting a special, top secret, diva girl email list to share the info you just won't find on my daily blog- due to the fact that I was reckless and have given out this address to pretty much everyone (silly me!). If you want to hear the REAL story, please drop me an email at hotmamabear213@yahoo.com or any other email you have for me and I can add you to that musing. It won't be a daily thing so don't worry that I will flood your email box. I just wish I could say everything here- unfortunately I cannot. It goes back to the theory I have been hearing of late- you can't un-ring a bell; you can't un-tell information. It's not about keeping secrets, like there's something to be ashamed of. It's about me and my family's privacy. And frankly, all that matters right now is me and my family (to be).

In any case, some of you will probably end up on the list without asking- in which case, you can opt out. For others- your email is not on your blog so I couldn't add you if I tried (which I did)- so if I can have your permission, by giving me your email, I would be tickled pink. Think of it as a new level of our friendship- if you think I have let it hang out here, wait until "big brother" isn't around.

Next u/s for me is August 5th- please cross your fingers, think positive and wear lucky socks for me- you know I will be...