"Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."
- Helen Keller1880-1968, Blind and Deaf Educator

Monday, January 5, 2009

It's Raining Blood

Well, I'm not pregnant. Not only that. I was bleeding so bad, I bled through my pants at work- think sieve. As you may be thinking- the implantation bleeding
was not. Or maybe it was, and it was another miscarriage. I'll know soon enough.

I am in Philly on business and needed to arrange to go to a different hospital for day 3 work up. My meds are being overnighted to me here. "Don't you want to just take off a month?" says the nurse from my hospital in Boston. "About as much as I want to cut off my arm and have you eat it."

My saving grace was definitely the coordinator at U Penn who helped me get this thing going. I called them in a panic- should I take a 1K plane to Boston? Should I fly into RI and drive the hour? What do I do????????????? Can you help me???????

"Take a deep breath," she said. "Take a calm, deep breath. We can help you here. We can even give you a patient discount if your health insurance won't cover it here."

I love her. She made me feel so much better. It's people like her- and like all of you- that help keep me sane. She even followed up to check in on me later. I think when this is all over with, I want to be someone who works in the office who can help others like me, who become lunatics with grief and stress and frustration. I want to be the one who says, "I am here for you, whatever you need."

8 comments:

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm sorry. I know how bad you wanted this. I sure wish that wanting = having.

you'd have 50 zillion kids right now.

Cara said...

Oh Lisa, I'm so sorry! I just can't wait to give you a real hug!

And - FWIW - It is raining blood here too and it's NOT my period. Just had that last week.

Had a cervix biopsy yesterday. Who knew that once you were acually done having kids your body could still revolt on you!

Thinking of you. xxoo

Good Egg Hunting said...

I'm so sorry you're not pg, but so glad you had this amazing woman help you in Philly. It would make a great story if this cycle worked! Hoping it's the one.

mrsmuelly said...

Pooh! I'm sorry.

No kidding on the "eat my arm" comment. Duh! I'm so glad that you found a local, compassionate office.

Kami said...

I'm sorry.

Zil said...

Lisa - I'm so sorry. It sounds like someone held the umbrella over your head for a little while - that person being the coodinator. Thank goodness for people like her.

I Believe in Miracles said...

So sorry sweetie. I'm so happy that person at UPenn rocks.
~~HUGS~~

Natalie said...

Uggghhhh. Not just a disappointment, but a bleeding fiasco too... wonderful.

So glad you have someone there helping you through this!!! That is so important to mental health.

Still though, the whole thing just sucks.