"Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."
- Helen Keller1880-1968, Blind and Deaf Educator

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

SHARE training for medical practitioners

There is a training around fetal/baby loss for medical practitioners in Northampton, Massachusetts on November 10-11th (two trainings, one each day). The director of the US National Share organization will be helping professionals with sensitivity training on the subject. Things like, do not be afraid- we know you don't know what to say. Saying that is much better than saying something like "would you like to pray with me?" or "Things happen for a reason."

I have been encouraged to write a letter of invitation to anyone I think might benefit- maybe someone who was not the best with me and could use the training.

Dear Dr. L,

I am part of a SHARE support group that helps me cope with the loss of my baby girl, Sally Ann. The director of this national organization will be in the area to speak on the subject. She is an absolutely wonderful speaker and, since you are in the field, I thought you might be interested in attending.

She can share with you how inappropriate it was to tell me I had a 50/50 chance of losing my baby when I had the first sign of bleeding. You may have been right, but it was ever so cruel. And then when you happened upon me after my 22 hours of labor as your shift began- what a delightful coincidence that it would be you to finish off the deed.

I found it so thoughtful that you had the idea of putting my baby in a stainless steel bowl, still somewhat bloody, to give to me to view. Aren't we so lucky that Nurse M was around to come up with the idea of using the little preemie pink wraps that you stock in the hospital by the case for just this occasion.

In any case, why not check this lady out? You might pick up a few pointers and learn that less is more when you are speaking with a woman in grief. Or maybe can you just think before you speak?


Lisa DG


Mrs. Spit said...

I don't know if I would write this (although, it's certainly not wrong, and gets the point across!)

But, really, he should go.

I Believe in Miracles said...

That's a bold letter.

Cara said...

Lisa - I'm glad you were able to get out your frustrations and bitter emotion in this letter. I don't know if you actually sent it, but at least you can use it a journal piece to try and accpet the way things happened for you.

I have been ranting and raving lately about sensativity training...glad to see that for some, it is a reality.

Nathansma said...

A stainless steel bowl? Are you kidding me? Thank God the hospital staff in my situation was very helpful and supportive. Following your story.


Travelwahine said...

I see nothing wrong with the letter. Yes, it is bold. But you know something LIsa, some people don't think twice before they speak and maybe they need someone like you, to call them out.

I think ALL health professionals should attend something like this at least once.

Jacquie said...

Delurking to say Seriously!! This Dr did that! How disgusting. He needs to go for sure and find some human being in himself.