Baby, Baby, Bay

I know these pics may seem weird or sci fi to some of you...they come from my baby's 33 week 3D u/s. I'm in love. I can hardly wait.

32 weeks, 4 pounds, 14 ounces

Baby is doing well so far- growing well, moving lots. I'm holding my breath yet feeling more secure about her. I can't wait to hold her. I mean- let's not have a premie, but I am counting the days until we meet.

I go for another 3D u/s this weekend- can't wait to see her pretty face again. I am also going to my very own baby shower. I was hesitant to even tolerate one before the birth, but I'll take the risk this time and spend an afternoon celebrating what almost surely will be- with friends who love me and will be there for me either way.

Funny- I used to hate baby showers. I would put on my fake smile and pretend that it didn't hurt that I was still childless in the presence of pregnant women and women with children. It was a torment that I put myself through because I really wanted to be there for those whom I loved. But it hurt. It was a sad and lonely feeling.

I wonder if I will feel weird this weekend...I am not sure that one can ever leave behind the infertile or the dead baby mama persona. Maybe all that will make me more grateful and appreciative of what lies ahead. Time will tell. Wish me luck...