"Self pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in the world."
- Helen Keller1880-1968, Blind and Deaf Educator

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Part 2 to the bad day

For all those that commented about my cruel step mom, I appreciated your kind words. Part 2 goes like this- I decide to call my dad on Wednesday to let him know I wasn't pregnant. About 15 seconds into the call, right after I told him the news, he ripped right into me, letting me know how fat I looked when he saw me and that every time he sees me I get fatter and fatter. When I told hm the doctor told me to just hold off on weight loss right now because he doesn't want my hormones to get out of wack, my dad tells me I am lying. I am lying? He says either I am lying or my doctor is a quack and I should find another doctor.

I can't believe how supportive and loving my family is.

I told my dad I will lose weight once the baby comes. He tells me he hardly believes that one and I should just put off getting pregnant until I lose the weight. Then he compares me to step sisters- they have stressful lives- how come they didn't gain weight?

I don't think I have ever felt as alone in this world as I do right now. I need to talk to my doctor about anti-depressants. I feel like jumping off a bridge about now-except for the fact that I want a baby so bad- if that longing and hope wasn't there, I am pretty sure I would need to be committed.


Natalie said...

:( I am so sorry you have to deal with such cruel comments from family. It is just so uncalled for, so insensitive, I can hardly believe it. How dare he?!

Zil said...

Don't give up
'Cause you have friends
Don't give up
You're not the only one
Don't give up
No reason to be ashamed
Don't give up
You still have us
Don't give up now
We're proud of who you are
~Peter Gabriel, Don't Give Up~

Cara said...

Crap. Seriously? Family is supposed to love you unconditionally! I have at least four sizes in my closet. I'm pretty sure they've loved me through them all.

You are wonderful. You are strong. Somehow..you have emerged a woman who feels good about her choices and refuses to be defined by others.

No bridges, ya hear.

Mrs. Spit said...

I'm going to be blunt. You don't need anti-depressants - you need to stop talking to your dad until he cleans up his act.

Well, that's not completely true, by all means, if you need the anti-depressants, take them, but really, what a terrible thing to say to your daughter. Wow.

Hope said...

Hi! I found your site through Zil's "Three Little Birds" blog.
I just want to say that I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with your so-called "family." If you ask me, they aren't acting too much like family! I agree with Mrs Spit that you need to just get them out of your life right now!
You need to focus on you and your healing...please know that there are people who care about you!!

A Friend Closer than you know! said...

Hey - don't them get you down. Most people that lash out at others are really mad at themselves and grasping for other things to find fault with verses their own weaknesses and faults. You are a wonderful, giving person. You are kind and deserving and when the time is right you will make a wonderful mom. Please don't give up and don't allow yourself to listen to harsh words that aren't true! Know that you are doing the right thing day in and day out. XOXO

I Believe in Miracles said...

I'm so sorry Lisa. Just catching up from the last couple days. I'm SO SO sorry. Let me know if I can do anything.

Reba said...

I saw a link to your blog on another blog I read, and just read your whole story. I am so sorry for the loss of Sally Ann, and sorry for the way your family is treating you right now. My family doesn't really know how to deal with me since we lost our twins, either, but I am just shocked by your dad's cruelty. I know he just wants you to be happy, and he's mad at the grief you're experiencing, not you...but even knowing these things, it's horrible thinking he said those things to his own daughter.